Parasha Thoughts
By Rabbi Shemuel Akhamzadeh
עַל־כֵּן֙ יַֽעֲזָב־×Ö´Ö”×™×©× ×ֶת־×ָבִ֖יו וְ×ֶת־×ִמּ֑וֹ וְדָבַ֣ק בְּ×ִש×ְתּ֔וֹ וְהָי֖וּ לְבָשָׂ֥ר ×ֶחָֽד׃
Hence a man leaves his father and mother and clings to his wife, so that they become one flesh.
We live in a society where marriage is seen as a tool to gain the most pleasure, whether physical, emotional or any other type of pleasure. If these expectations are not met, separation is the obvious alternative even with the children’s lives on the line. Seeing marriage in this light is comparable to viewing the purpose of food solely as a means to satisfy our taste-buds and disregarding all the essential nutrients in food that enable our bodies to perform their necessary functions. To eat food only for its taste will jeopardize our health.
Judaism sees a higher purpose in marriage that is more essential than pleasure. Marriage is a way for two souls to join and serve each other with the best of their abilities regardless of how much pleasure they receive. Just as diamonds have rough spots, every person has his or her flaws. The only way to remove the rough spots on a diamond is by polishing it with another diamond to smoothen it and bring out its true beauty. The same goes for every person; marriage is essential to remove each person’s rough spots and bad traits. Every relationship naturally has its frictions; this is where the polishing happens and the possibility of bringing out one’s true shine.
Rabbenu Chaim Vital, the main disciple of Ari Za’l, writes that “the ultimate purpose of man’s creation is to break his bad traits and humble himself.†Marriage is the primary tool to reach our ultimate purpose in life, as long as we understand how to use it in the correct manner.
Shabbat Shalom.