Parasha Thoughts
By Rabbi Shlomo Zargari
Shalom,
In this week’s Parasha, the Torah tells us the account of Yaakov Avinu reaching Haran where he had an encounter with three shepherds. The Shepherds had called it a day and finished working too early and were just hanging about near the well. “He said to them ‘my brothers, where are you from?’ And they said ‘We are from Haran’ “(Bereshit 29,4). This was quite strange; these people were not familiar with him, they hadn’t met before and the first word Yaakov says to them is ” my brothers ” !!
Harav Yaakov Kamentsky of blessed memory(1891-1986) writes in his book Emet LeYaakov that Yaakov Avinu saw these shepherds sitting idly and wanted to rebuke them and tell them “Look, the day is still long and it is not yet time to bring the livestock in. Water the flock and go on grazing.”
One who wants to rebuke must first show friendship and unity! He has to show that what he is about to say is not an attack, criticism or hatred. It is the opposite; it comes from love and the desire to do good for the person. It comes from wanting to better his life and future. That is why Yaakov started by calling them his brothers; it was an expression of friendship and endearment. This is true in all cases: Husband and wife, parents and children, siblings, friends, family, neighbors, and both the young and old should start by saying compliments and praising the good to show love.
That is why we had the Exodus before the giving the Torah; first the creator wanted to show his love to us and that we are His chosen people. He gave us the Manna and the clouds of glory and through these we accepted the commandments of the Torah.
The Torah commands “You shall not hate your brother in your heart, you shall reprove your fellow and do not bear a sin because of him “(Vayikra 19,17). The Almighty is teaching us how we should rebuke a fellow. He shouldn’t think that you are coming to criticize or to disrespect him, but that you have come in peace and brotherhood.